I read this article yesterday and haven't stopped thinking about the truth of it. As a girl who grew up hearing "pretty is is pretty does" this struck a chord with me. As a mother of two daughters, one grown and gone but one still very much at home and caught up finding her place amid the maelstrom of teenage culture, I am curious to know your thoughts on this. How do we bring pretty back? How do we teach our daughters it is your inner beauty that radiates to become lasting outward beauty. How do we teach them that if they spent as much time cultivating their spirit in relationship to Christ as they do scrutinizing themselves in front of the mirror that their beauty would be dazzling. I guess they must first see it in their mommas. Tell me what you think - I look forward to your comments.
The Death Of Pretty
Share by Pat Archbold Wednesday, December 21, 2011 11:11 AM Comments (631)
This post is intended as a lament of sorts, a lament for something in the culture that is dying and may never been seen again.
Pretty, pretty is dying.
People will define pretty differently. For the purposes of this piece, I define pretty as a mutually enriching balanced combination of beauty and projected innocence.
Once upon a time, women wanted to project an innocence. I am not idealizing another age and I have no illusions about the virtues of our grandparents, concupiscence being what it is. But some things were different in the back then. First and foremost, many beautiful women, whatever the state of their souls, still wished to project a public innocence and virtue. And that combination of beauty and innocence is what I define as pretty.
By nature, generally when men see this combination in women it brings out their better qualities, their best in fact. That special combination of beauty and innocence, the pretty inspires men to protect and defend it.
Young women today do not seem to aspire to pretty, they prefer to be regarded as hot. Hotness is something altogether different. When women want to be hot instead of pretty, they must view themselves in a certain way and consequently men view them differently as well.
As I said, pretty inspires men’s nobler instincts to protect and defend. Pretty is cherished. Hotness, on the other hand, is a commodity. Its value is temporary and must be used. It is a consumable.
Nowhere is this pretty deficit more obvious than in our “stars,” the people we elevate as the “ideal.” The stars of the fifties surely suffered from the same sin as do stars of today. Stars of the fifties weren’t ideal but they pursued a public ideal different from today.
The merits of hotness over pretty is easy enough to understand, they made an entire musical about it. Who can forget how pretty Olivia Newton John was at the beginning of Grease. Beautiful and innocent. But her desire to be desired leads her to throw away all that is valuable in herself in the vain hopes of getting the attention of a boy. In the process, she destroys her innocence and thus destroys the pretty. What we are left with is hotness.
Hotness is a consumable. A consumable that consumes as it is consumed but brings no warmth.
Most girls don’t want to be pretty anymore even if they understand what it is. It is ironic that 40 years of women’s liberation has succeeded only in turning women into a commodity. Something to be used up and thrown out.
Of course men play a role in this as well, but women should know better and they once did. Once upon a time you would hear girls talk about kind of women men date and the kind they marry. You don’t hear things like that anymore.
But here is the real truth. Most men prefer pretty over hot. Even back in 6th grade I hated the “hot” Olivia Newton John and felt sorry for her that she had to debase herself in such a way. Still do.
Our problem is that society doesn’t value innocence anymore, real or imagined. Nobody aspires to innocence anymore. Nobody wants to be thought of as innocent, the good girl. They want to be hot, not pretty.
I still hope that pretty comes back, although I think it not likely any time soon. For every Taylor Swift, there are a hundred Megan Foxs, or Lindsay Lohans, or Miley Cyruses etc.
Girls, please, bring back the pretty.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Random
I miss blogging! The technology issues in my house are too complicated to explain beside the fact that no one cares. So..... what has been going on in my world? Not as much as what is going to be going on in my world. 2012 is about to get exciting! Did I mention we are having a wedding? May 12. We are so excited we can hardly stand ourselves!!! Our future daughter-in-love is precious (her own post is coming shortly -she deserves one :) ) and she is busy busy making arrangements. Baby girl has been asked to sing at the wedding and you would think she was going to perform at Carnegie Hall. She was so proud when they asked her. So she and I have been frantically searching pinterest - of which I am now obsessed - looking for stuff to wear. I laughed earlier at the idiocy of that because our groom - said son- was just commenting to me a bit ago when I asked him about a t-shirt he had on that I didn't understand, that in the last ten years (since he has been gone from credit card disbursing home)- that he has probably only spent about $100 on clothes for himself. To include socks and underwear. That Christine is one lucky woman. My boy is many many wonderful things, high-maintenance is not one of them. I will have to post pics later of his before and after beard he has been sporting for the last several months.
Aside from all things weddings I have been doing the following:
-working hard on lessons for the Bible as literature class I am teaching this semester. It is so much fun and my students are a lot of fun.
-reading the Hunger Games trilogy and several other books. I read several at a time. Don't know why but it works for me!
-trying out new healthier recipes. I recently lost 25 pounds and I am anxious to stay that way. Plus I have a wedding to dress for :) Just a note, baby girl and sweet man are not buying that pureed cauliflower and mashed potatoes taste the same. Even with cheese on top.
-Being obsessed with pinterest. Why can't I come up with a cool idea like that?
- Sticking to my resolution
What do I have to look forward to this year:
- Wedding!!!!!!!!
- Baby girl turns Sweet 16 in a couple of months, sniff, sniff
- Watching my sweet grandpeeps be ring bearers together at the wedding. I can just picture them in their little tuxes!!!!
- Watching our sweet baby boy get married. Sniff, sniff
- Our oldest grandpeep starts kindergarten this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!Sniff, sniff
- Starting our new Bible study on James with my bible study peeps! Can't wait
- Hopefully blogging more - I am anxious to write more this year.
- Every day being thankful to God for another day to live for Him - I hope I do not disappoint Him.
Hope your year is starting out wonderfully. One of my sweet friends commented today that January is the Monday of months! It will be gone in a flash. Cherish every day.
Blessings,
Michelle
Aside from all things weddings I have been doing the following:
-working hard on lessons for the Bible as literature class I am teaching this semester. It is so much fun and my students are a lot of fun.
-reading the Hunger Games trilogy and several other books. I read several at a time. Don't know why but it works for me!
-trying out new healthier recipes. I recently lost 25 pounds and I am anxious to stay that way. Plus I have a wedding to dress for :) Just a note, baby girl and sweet man are not buying that pureed cauliflower and mashed potatoes taste the same. Even with cheese on top.
-Being obsessed with pinterest. Why can't I come up with a cool idea like that?
- Sticking to my resolution
What do I have to look forward to this year:
- Wedding!!!!!!!!
- Baby girl turns Sweet 16 in a couple of months, sniff, sniff
- Watching my sweet grandpeeps be ring bearers together at the wedding. I can just picture them in their little tuxes!!!!
- Watching our sweet baby boy get married. Sniff, sniff
- Our oldest grandpeep starts kindergarten this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!Sniff, sniff
- Starting our new Bible study on James with my bible study peeps! Can't wait
- Hopefully blogging more - I am anxious to write more this year.
- Every day being thankful to God for another day to live for Him - I hope I do not disappoint Him.
Hope your year is starting out wonderfully. One of my sweet friends commented today that January is the Monday of months! It will be gone in a flash. Cherish every day.
Blessings,
Michelle
Sunday, January 1, 2012
RESOLVE
Happy New Year!!!! 2012 - I still remember like it was yesterday being a senior in high school and thinking as I listened to "Party like its 1999" that that was soooooooooo far away! Now it is the year 2012. Time keeps right on marching doesn't it? It waits for no one.
2011 overall was a good year for our family. But as I look forward to 2012, I am eager with anticipation. I don't even know how to explain it, yet I feel as though this year is going to hold some major changes for us. Good things. Even if there is trouble - overall good things. My precious in-loves spent the day with us yesterday as we celebrated their anniversary. 57 years! FIFTY-SEVEN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot imagine all they have experienced together. They have seen it all. But more importantly they survived it all - together. They have no idea what a testimony they are to all of us. My mother in-love said she and Gerald sat and talked yesterday morning about the day they got married all those years ago and having no idea what would be in store for them and then they looked above their mantle and stared at the legacy of their 57 years together. Their family of two is now one of twenty-three and this year will increase to twenty-four ( did I mention we are having a wedding!!! Whoop Whoop!).
As I sat and listened to them tell their story of courtship and marveled at how they both still blush as it is told all these years later, I felt compelled to ask them what is the one piece of advice they would give about marriage.
My father-in-love said without hesitation, " Give thanks for all your blessings, all the good times and prosperous times, but more importantly see the hard times as opportunities for growth." Mother-in-love said, " Never give up. Keep going day after day." Then I asked for their best parenting advice after all this time. They both agreed with one thing - Consistency.
It struck me as I thought about what they said, that their model for marriage and parenting has always been biblical. Even after 57 years - their model for living is God's Word. And it also struck me that even though the world is so different now than when they married 57 years ago and the times we are raising children in is so different than when they raised theirs - GODS WORD IS NOT DIFFERENT!!!!! His model for righteous living is not changing. Regardless of how the world changes, He is steadfast and His plan will endure for generation upon generation.
Which leads to me today. January 1. Beginning of a new year. A fresh start if you will. I don't normally make resolutions, however I am reading The Resolution for Women and I am stating that my prayer for this year is to become a woman of RESOLVE. By definition I am stating that I desire to be a woman who is determined and has firmness of purpose or intent.
A woman who:
- seeks God's word for daily living - not just in overall life but the dailyness of a life submitted to God.
- remembers that for my prayers to be answered for my children to love the Lord with all their heart, soul and mind, they must see it in me.
- leads by example to my daughters and daughters-in-love what the biblical model for femininity is
-is not defeated when issues arise but rather is equipped with the armor of God to fight the battle ahead
- wants more of Christ every day
- who is not daunted in my role as mother when asked "Why do my parents have to be so different from everybody else?"
- who is ready to answer "Because God calls us to be different, that's why" and pray they too will choose Him over what the world offers.
- prays diligently for my husband and my family
-who stands firmly on the foundation of God's word even while storms may swirl around me.
- who is not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ
-who remembers every day the sacrifice made for her on the Cross and lives a sacrificial life not a selfish one.
I am so thankful for our time with my in-loves yesterday. I have been struggling with some things lately and through our visit yesterday God reminded me - He is the same. Jesus- yesterday, today and tomorrow. His plan never fails. And I RESOLVE to believe Him.
Happy New Year!
2011 overall was a good year for our family. But as I look forward to 2012, I am eager with anticipation. I don't even know how to explain it, yet I feel as though this year is going to hold some major changes for us. Good things. Even if there is trouble - overall good things. My precious in-loves spent the day with us yesterday as we celebrated their anniversary. 57 years! FIFTY-SEVEN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot imagine all they have experienced together. They have seen it all. But more importantly they survived it all - together. They have no idea what a testimony they are to all of us. My mother in-love said she and Gerald sat and talked yesterday morning about the day they got married all those years ago and having no idea what would be in store for them and then they looked above their mantle and stared at the legacy of their 57 years together. Their family of two is now one of twenty-three and this year will increase to twenty-four ( did I mention we are having a wedding!!! Whoop Whoop!).
As I sat and listened to them tell their story of courtship and marveled at how they both still blush as it is told all these years later, I felt compelled to ask them what is the one piece of advice they would give about marriage.
My father-in-love said without hesitation, " Give thanks for all your blessings, all the good times and prosperous times, but more importantly see the hard times as opportunities for growth." Mother-in-love said, " Never give up. Keep going day after day." Then I asked for their best parenting advice after all this time. They both agreed with one thing - Consistency.
It struck me as I thought about what they said, that their model for marriage and parenting has always been biblical. Even after 57 years - their model for living is God's Word. And it also struck me that even though the world is so different now than when they married 57 years ago and the times we are raising children in is so different than when they raised theirs - GODS WORD IS NOT DIFFERENT!!!!! His model for righteous living is not changing. Regardless of how the world changes, He is steadfast and His plan will endure for generation upon generation.
Which leads to me today. January 1. Beginning of a new year. A fresh start if you will. I don't normally make resolutions, however I am reading The Resolution for Women and I am stating that my prayer for this year is to become a woman of RESOLVE. By definition I am stating that I desire to be a woman who is determined and has firmness of purpose or intent.
A woman who:
- seeks God's word for daily living - not just in overall life but the dailyness of a life submitted to God.
- remembers that for my prayers to be answered for my children to love the Lord with all their heart, soul and mind, they must see it in me.
- leads by example to my daughters and daughters-in-love what the biblical model for femininity is
-is not defeated when issues arise but rather is equipped with the armor of God to fight the battle ahead
- wants more of Christ every day
- who is not daunted in my role as mother when asked "Why do my parents have to be so different from everybody else?"
- who is ready to answer "Because God calls us to be different, that's why" and pray they too will choose Him over what the world offers.
- prays diligently for my husband and my family
-who stands firmly on the foundation of God's word even while storms may swirl around me.
- who is not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ
-who remembers every day the sacrifice made for her on the Cross and lives a sacrificial life not a selfish one.
I am so thankful for our time with my in-loves yesterday. I have been struggling with some things lately and through our visit yesterday God reminded me - He is the same. Jesus- yesterday, today and tomorrow. His plan never fails. And I RESOLVE to believe Him.
Happy New Year!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Christmas Eve pics
We spent Christmas Eve at my parents house as we do every year and had such a great time. Bear with all the pictures - hey, I have time to make up for!
My sisters and our Mama. Jennifer said she didn't get the red memo.
Anthony is crazy about his Uncle Jon.
We were happy to have Brent with us this year. He and Savannah enjoy aggravating each other.
My sweet grandpeeps.Oh how I love them!
My sweet sisters and their husbands - who are also sweet!
It was Connor's year to put the star on top of the tree.
He enjoyed his moment of celebrity!
Graham got a tractor from MiMi and Old Paw - wonder how they knew what he liked. :)
Anthony got a BB gun!!!! He was excited.
My nephew Brian loves to read and when he opened up the Hunger Games trilogy he grinned from ear to ear - until I said,"Oh Brian, I am reading that too right now - we can have a book club!!!" He looked like he wanted to throw them in the fireplace.
Sydney - our fashionista- loved her boots.
Rachel and her American Girl doll.
The boys wanting PawPaw to look at their tractors.
Our little Santa!
Did I mention Christine is GOING TO BE OUR NEW DAUGHTER-IN-LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More on that news later. Love you Christine - happy birthday tomorrow!
Baby girl loves her older brothers and sister. She is like her momma and is happiest when the house is full of them She has been pouting because they will all be somewhere else in the morning.
So she is stuck with Momma and Daddy!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BELIEVE
I'm baaacccckkkkkkk!!!!!! Long couple of months but back to blogging I will go.
Christmas Eve! It seems hard to imagine we are here already. Time goes so quickly. As I sat this morning during my quiet time and thought back over the last couple of weeks one recurring theme comes to my mind - BELIEVE. People go to such measures to get their children to believe in the magic of Santa Claus. (please no one misunderstand- we love us some santa around here. He still visits my grown children and they all moved a long time ago!) Parents wrack their minds to come up with innovative places to hide elves every night just so their babies will thrill at the expectation of the visit to come. We have done all sorts of things from leaving reindeer footprints, notes from Santa, letters and videos from Santa, emails from Santa..... on and on are the lengths to which we will go for our children to BELIEVE that they were visited by Santa. We want our children to experience something magical and we work hard to make it happen.
Question for you - What if we went to the same measures to get people to BELIEVE in the GIFT OF CHRISTMAS- Jesus Christ? What would happen to our families, communities, churches? Interesting thought for me this morning.
What does God's word have to say about believing? Glad you asked :)
1. John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
2.John 1:12
Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—
3. Matthew 21:22
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer
4.Luke 1:45
Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”
5.John 3:18
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
6.John 3:36
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.
7.Mark 11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
8.Mark 9:23
‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
This is the kind of belief I desire. A belief that has something promised at the end of it. I don't want the magic of belief to end after one morning. I want to stop being like the man who said to Jesus, "I do believe, Help me with my unbelief!" I want it down in my soul that believe is a verb and faith will always be its object. God's word shows us over and over the blessings of belief. That is how He is, giving us a promise if we will just believe. He is so good and loving. But more importantly He is faithful. He fulfills his promises ALWAYS.
If we just believe......................................................................... HIM.
Merry Christmas! May you and your families celebrate the reason for the season and be filled with the magic of Christmas that is Jesus Christ.
Christmas Eve! It seems hard to imagine we are here already. Time goes so quickly. As I sat this morning during my quiet time and thought back over the last couple of weeks one recurring theme comes to my mind - BELIEVE. People go to such measures to get their children to believe in the magic of Santa Claus. (please no one misunderstand- we love us some santa around here. He still visits my grown children and they all moved a long time ago!) Parents wrack their minds to come up with innovative places to hide elves every night just so their babies will thrill at the expectation of the visit to come. We have done all sorts of things from leaving reindeer footprints, notes from Santa, letters and videos from Santa, emails from Santa..... on and on are the lengths to which we will go for our children to BELIEVE that they were visited by Santa. We want our children to experience something magical and we work hard to make it happen.
Question for you - What if we went to the same measures to get people to BELIEVE in the GIFT OF CHRISTMAS- Jesus Christ? What would happen to our families, communities, churches? Interesting thought for me this morning.
What does God's word have to say about believing? Glad you asked :)
1. John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
2.John 1:12
Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—
3. Matthew 21:22
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer
4.Luke 1:45
Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”
5.John 3:18
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
6.John 3:36
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.
7.Mark 11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
8.Mark 9:23
‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
This is the kind of belief I desire. A belief that has something promised at the end of it. I don't want the magic of belief to end after one morning. I want to stop being like the man who said to Jesus, "I do believe, Help me with my unbelief!" I want it down in my soul that believe is a verb and faith will always be its object. God's word shows us over and over the blessings of belief. That is how He is, giving us a promise if we will just believe. He is so good and loving. But more importantly He is faithful. He fulfills his promises ALWAYS.
If we just believe......................................................................... HIM.
Merry Christmas! May you and your families celebrate the reason for the season and be filled with the magic of Christmas that is Jesus Christ.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Getting her Groove Back
Baby girl has had a tough racing season. She has had one injury after another, a terrible cold and was pulled from several races. Her time has been very slow and she has been awfully discouraged. Our state meet is one week away and she was in danger of losing her spot. Only the top seven runners get to compete at the state level. After running state last year she was going to be incredibly disappointed if she didn't make it. However...... in the last two weeks she has gotten faster and faster. She has shaved five minutes off her time from two weeks ago - Phenomenal!!!!! This weekend was our big District meet - the last race we have before state. Baby girl was only 14 seconds away from beating her own personal record. We are so proud of her!
She had some of her favorite fans come out to watch her yesterday:
The girls have this little ritual they do right before they race to get themselves all pumped up. They are so much fun to watch.
Love watching her run. :)
Two of her toughest critics are two of her biggest cheerleaders - Her big brothers. They want her to be her very best and encourage her as only siblings can. She loves them a bunch- in spite of how silly they act in pictures.
Our high school moved up to 5-A this year. So our competition is tougher and our boys and our girls took first at District! WHOO-HOO for our District Champs.
Baby girl is learning a lesson that will benefit her for her whole life- It is not how you start the race but how you finish!
Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
Have a blessed week!
Michelle
Thursday, November 3, 2011
SSMT #21
I have not posted my memory verse on my blog in awhile, but I couldn't let this one go by.
Micah 6:8
"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly[a] with your God. "
Our family ( immediate and extended)- has been through a lot in the last several weeks - An aunt diagnosed with cancer, a first cousin who died suddenly at a young age, a brother-in-law who suffered a stroke, and just hard stuff that people are going through and needing prayer. As I looked at this verse I realized it is for the hard times this verse is meant, not the good.
This is what I hear the Lord saying,
" Michelle you have seen, because I have shown you in your finite, mortal body how good I am. I have proved it to you. If only by My Son's death and ressurrection, as that would be enough, BUT no, I have gone further than just that . I have blessed you immeasurably,more than you deserve. Why? Easy - I love you, Michelle, and all your family even through the hurt and the not so good. Here is what I ask of you in return - TRUST ME, BELIEVE ME, CALL TO ME, SEEK ME, LOVE OTHERS, SHOW MERCY WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO. REMEMBER I AM GOD AND YOU ARE NOT SO ALL QUESTIONS YOU HAVE WILL NOT RECEIVE ANSWERS. I HAVE SHOWN YOU MY GOODNESS - DON'T DOUBT I AM STILL GOOD AND LOVING AND ENDURINGLY FAITHFUL."
What a mighty God we serve. So as I think of all the hard stuff we are enduring I am choosing to focus on all the blessings that are occurring out of them. And there are many. It is amazing what we see when we get our focus off ourselves.
Blessings,
Michelle
Micah 6:8
"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly[a] with your God. "
Our family ( immediate and extended)- has been through a lot in the last several weeks - An aunt diagnosed with cancer, a first cousin who died suddenly at a young age, a brother-in-law who suffered a stroke, and just hard stuff that people are going through and needing prayer. As I looked at this verse I realized it is for the hard times this verse is meant, not the good.
This is what I hear the Lord saying,
" Michelle you have seen, because I have shown you in your finite, mortal body how good I am. I have proved it to you. If only by My Son's death and ressurrection, as that would be enough, BUT no, I have gone further than just that . I have blessed you immeasurably,more than you deserve. Why? Easy - I love you, Michelle, and all your family even through the hurt and the not so good. Here is what I ask of you in return - TRUST ME, BELIEVE ME, CALL TO ME, SEEK ME, LOVE OTHERS, SHOW MERCY WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO. REMEMBER I AM GOD AND YOU ARE NOT SO ALL QUESTIONS YOU HAVE WILL NOT RECEIVE ANSWERS. I HAVE SHOWN YOU MY GOODNESS - DON'T DOUBT I AM STILL GOOD AND LOVING AND ENDURINGLY FAITHFUL."
What a mighty God we serve. So as I think of all the hard stuff we are enduring I am choosing to focus on all the blessings that are occurring out of them. And there are many. It is amazing what we see when we get our focus off ourselves.
Blessings,
Michelle
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